TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

Hope some of you haven't seen this.


APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________

HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________

SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain:
______________________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married ______________________________

If less than your age, explain
______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________


ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

(IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)


ESSAY SECTION:

In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________


REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend ___________________________________________________

How often you attend ________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? _____________

mother? _____________

pastor? _____________


SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

______________________________________________________________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

______________________________________________________________

C: A woman's place is in the:

______________________________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

______________________________________________________________

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

______________________________________________________________

F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.


_________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)


_______________________________ ________________________________
Mother's Signature Father's Signature

_______________________________ ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do
not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would
cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be
notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.
(you might watch your back)To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating.

I'll be using this in about 8 years

I'll need two of these in about 15 years. lol

do you play MW3 and are you apart of a group called OVER 30? REJECTED!

I need one in about 2 years. But I am also training my son to kill so I have back up

this why i am a member of the NRA, there is a decal on my truck proudly stating this. I will be "cleaning my guns" when he arrives, pointning out how some guns are untraceable. I also run salvage yards with crushers and that I can make things go away.

wait, so my eagle scout badge doesn't negate my tattoo? damn.

I will be using it in about 3 hour with the 30-30 on my lap

I made her 17 year old boy friend file it out to day should have seen his face .

dog_soildier wrote:

I made her 17 year old boy friend file it out to day should have seen his face .

Of all the times to have a hidden camera for a genuine reaction...awesome post!

LOL i cant use half of this with my daughter. having a bunch of tats and piercings completely negates those sections for me.

bump

My oldest daugther(13) and her "boyfriend" will be coming today and I will be giving this app to him to fill out and will post the completed app here. later today

I'm so glad I don't have to worry about this yet. Though when I do, I'll probably just opt for telling the kid, "I have a gun and a shovel, and I'm quite good at using both of them."

hahaha...+30 to anybody that actually presents this to any potential applicant...my oldest just hit 12 so I have to start worrying about this...I say she can't date until I get a shotgun...

Well here it is as I said I would...some answers were discussed after he finish and so everyone know WE ARE ON THE SAME PAGE!!! Hoffy where's my +30?..lmao!!

lol, thats great reaver!

Did you get pic's his face or a video.
and did your girl know you were going to give it to him.

lol, this is fantastic.

That is funny shit. Damn they kid is 15 and is 6'2. damn thats a big kid.

Didn't think fast enough to get a vid or pics but took him out to the building so he could meet the Don and get his app going. Thought about making him kiss the ring but didn't want the wife getting mad at me..he showed up and I had my 380 on side the the .40 sitting on the table, and I'll grab a pic later of the knife I had on my side also. Then had the Uncle show up with 30-30 and said we could always let you get out of the reach of the handguns and knives but not to worry we could still reach him and that yes I remember the answer he put for Short answer section A, and that his ass is on radar!! He quickly figured out I have a weapon sumwhere within reach no matter where I am inside the house or in the yard.

walldoggy wrote:

I'll need two of these in about 15 years. lol

Me too, I have 8 and 4 year old girls...

Not in need of this yet, but since hoffy said he needed a shotgun first.... You can hang this and let them think you have one unless Reaver or N8 wants to let you borrow something from their collection.

I don't need anymore my girl is now 18 + and ruels her boy friend.
And i still have a shot gun and a shovel.

My oldest brother had a similar "dating form"...he has 5 daughters. Needless to say he is quite happy they are all married and settled.

My oldest girl is all graduated from college and married. It's SUCH a relief when they come through it all relatively unscathed! Now my 11 yr old girl is starting middle school next year...so here we go again. :p