For sale : 8 year old girl and 3 year old boy

Wife is at work tonight, kids are driving me CRAZY.
What she doesn't know won't hurt her if they sell before she gets home....

I can't leave them 2 minutes without one of them doing something to the other.

Just one of those nights being a parent FUCKING ROCKS *laugh*

The 8 year old girl comes c/w too much attitude (adjustments are difficult on these models) and the capability to start doing chores.

The 3 year old boy comes c/w batteries that never run out and an identity complex where he thinks he is Batman.

Oh...

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Been there have to girls now 14 and 12 . Enjoy it now it just gets rougher the older they get.

In that case I'd be selling my kids every other day. I always enjoy the 2,000 toys that they have and I'm the only they play with. I can bitch, and bitch but I couldn't imagine my life without those little rugrats.

No... I'm Batman

What's the return policy?

ninjesmurf wrote:

Been there have to girls now 14 and 12 . Enjoy it now it just gets rougher the older they get.

You have no idea. I have an 18 year old daughter, a 16 year old son, and a 9 year old son. I would take three 9 year olds any day.

11 & 13 year old girls 16 year old boy here. They were so much more fun when they liked to spend time with me.

How are the boys hands? Do you think he can handle exhausting hours in a field? I may be interested. Also, is the girl familiar with nikes? And can she sew?

DealingTheDeathCard wrote:

How are the boys hands? Do you think he can handle exhausting hours in a field? I may be interested. Also, is the girl familiar with nikes? And can she sew?

HAHA +1 the part about the boys hands and field work haha

That made me laugh Carl. Very nice. Don't you wish sometimes you could just stick your kids in a canoe with 3 days of provisions and send them off down the river never to be seen again? Is that how they do it in Canada? Thanks for the laughs.

Monday my wife invited by 6 year old autistic nephew, and my 3 year old niece to stay overnight with my 9, 6 and 16 month old. I was at a golf tournament in 99 degree heat for 9 hours, raced home to make football practice from 6 to 8:30, THEN come home to a house that looked like a garbage bomb exploded in, and she tells me I need to make them all ice cream sundaes and take them into the pool for swimming...at 9:30 at night, while she put the baby to bed.

I almost rage quit the family that night.

FBD wrote:

Monday my wife invited by 6 year old autistic nephew, and my 3 year old niece to stay overnight with my 9, 6 and 16 month old. I was at a golf tournament in 99 degree heat for 9 hours, raced home to make football practice from 6 to 8:30, THEN come home to a house that looked like a garbage bomb exploded in, and she tells me I need to make them all ice cream sundaes and take them into the pool for swimming...at 9:30 at night, while she put the baby to bed.

I almost rage quit the family that night.

Not sure what to say about this one...I would have felt like rage quitting too.

FBD wrote:

Monday my wife invited by 6 year old autistic nephew, and my 3 year old niece to stay overnight with my 9, 6 and 16 month old. I was at a golf tournament in 99 degree heat for 9 hours, raced home to make football practice from 6 to 8:30, THEN come home to a house that looked like a garbage bomb exploded in, and she tells me I need to make them all ice cream sundaes and take them into the pool for swimming...at 9:30 at night, while she put the baby to bed.

I almost rage quit the family that night.

Ha! I have had nights like that too. Did you ever consider slipping Benadryl into the ice cream sundaes just so they would go to sleep?

BigDaddyN8 wrote:

That made me laugh Carl. Very nice. Don't you wish sometimes you could just stick your kids in a canoe with 3 days of provisions and send them off down the river never to be seen again? Is that how they do it in Canada? Thanks for the laughs.

I hate to support a stereotype, but I'm Canadian and yeah my parents did that with me when I was around 12 years old. We were up at the cottage in Northern Ontario where all the lakes and rivers seem to connect, and they dropped me off in a river with a map, supplies, and a canoe with a mission to find my way back to the cottage. I camped on a small island (roughly the size of 2 parking spots at the mall) and made it back the next day.

When I was younger I would stay with a great grandmother once in awhile. My sister told me later she used to put Schnapp's in my hot chocolate(i think or tea, like 30 yrs ago ) so I would go to sleep easier.

Carl, I just want you to know that I am returning these children you sold me.

They are pretty high maintenance. They keep asking for things like hugs, attention, dinner, candy and their mom. I don’t have any of those things. They are also asking to be treated like the other kids in the house, so that can’t happen. Also they are not very task oriented, so they are doing a full on crappy job weeding the garden, cleaning the chicken coop, washing my car, doing laundry. I have not even asked them to clean the bathrooms yet. Also my wife is getting attached, so they need to go.

I am calling the better business bureau on you because this is bullshit. I want my 3 magic bean back right now.

I'm a little confused as to why you wouldn't be selling the wife also or in lue of? It's funny how my kids and nieces seem to listen better when the asshole Dad/Uncle Josh is in charge and the moms aren't around.......

Winicott1001 wrote:

Carl, I just want you to know that I am returning these children you sold me.

They are pretty high maintenance. They keep asking for things like hugs, attention, dinner, candy and their mom. I don’t have any of those things. They are also asking to be treated like the other kids in the house, so that can’t happen. Also they are not very task oriented, so they are doing a full on crappy job weeding the garden, cleaning the chicken coop, washing my car, doing laundry. I have not even asked them to clean the bathrooms yet. Also my wife is getting attached, so they need to go.

I am calling the better business bureau on you because this is bullshit. I want my 3 magic bean back right now.

Are you giving them the proper nutrition? I've found if you increase their meals from just one bowl a gruel, to one bowl of gruel and a few grains. They tend to work harder.

BigDaddyN8 wrote:

FBD wrote:

Monday my wife invited by 6 year old autistic nephew, and my 3 year old niece to stay overnight with my 9, 6 and 16 month old. I was at a golf tournament in 99 degree heat for 9 hours, raced home to make football practice from 6 to 8:30, THEN come home to a house that looked like a garbage bomb exploded in, and she tells me I need to make them all ice cream sundaes and take them into the pool for swimming...at 9:30 at night, while she put the baby to bed.

I almost rage quit the family that night.

Ha! I have had nights like that too. Did you ever consider slipping Benadryl into the ice cream sundaes just so they would go to sleep?

I've considered far more sinister things. Like duct taping them into their beds, or selling them to gypsies.

FBD wrote:

BigDaddyN8 wrote:

FBD wrote:

Monday my wife invited by 6 year old autistic nephew, and my 3 year old niece to stay overnight with my 9, 6 and 16 month old. I was at a golf tournament in 99 degree heat for 9 hours, raced home to make football practice from 6 to 8:30, THEN come home to a house that looked like a garbage bomb exploded in, and she tells me I need to make them all ice cream sundaes and take them into the pool for swimming...at 9:30 at night, while she put the baby to bed.

I almost rage quit the family that night.

Ha! I have had nights like that too. Did you ever consider slipping Benadryl into the ice cream sundaes just so they would go to sleep?

I've considered far more sinister things. Like duct taping them into their beds, or selling them to gypsies.

Why do people always assume us gypsies, want to buy their domesticated children.... Seriously people... We cant hardly feed our own...

DealingTheDeathCard wrote:

Why do people always assume us gypsies, want to buy their domesticated children.... Seriously people... We cant hardly feed our own...

Yeah, Every time I saw the gypsies come thru they already have plenty of kids. I don't bother trying to sell children to gypsies. When I was young and working at my dad's shop we would just sell them used cars, trailers, and campers as they passed thru every year. I think they would fix them, flip them for profit, and sell them at auctions, but I'm not sure what they did with all the rolling stock. They always paid with cash.

BigDaddyN8 wrote:

DealingTheDeathCard wrote:

Why do people always assume us gypsies, want to buy their domesticated children.... Seriously people... We cant hardly feed our own...

Yeah, Every time I saw the gypsies come thru they already have plenty of kids. I don't bother trying to sell children to gypsies. When I was young and working at my dad's shop we would just sell them used cars, trailers, and campers as they passed thru every year. I think they would fix them, flip them for profit, and sell them at auctions, but I'm not sure what they did with all the rolling stock. They always paid with cash.

When someone moves around constantly, money is an easy thing to come by.

carlmuir wrote:

Wife is at work tonight, kids are driving me CRAZY.
What she doesn't know won't hurt her if they sell before she gets home....

I can't leave them 2 minutes without one of them doing something to the other.

Just one of those nights being a parent FUCKING ROCKS *laugh*

The 8 year old girl comes c/w too much attitude (adjustments are difficult on these models) and the capability to start doing chores.

The 3 year old boy comes c/w batteries that never run out and an identity complex where he thinks he is Batman.

Oh...

Free shipping in the continental US

OMG! I am laughing so hard... My sides hurt. Lol. -Charity-