Blackspartan Crazy life- Delivery Room

So Mrs. Spartan and I are trying to make a little spartan (I know she wants to reproduce with me no she is not handicap) So we were enjoying dinner tonight at Olive Garden and she begins to tell me that she was ovulating the other day and I was like that's gross I don't want to hear that crap. I am sitting chewing on a bread stick and she is talking about laying eggs like a chicken. She goes into detail and I am total freaking out and sick to my stomach.

She was like what are you going to do when I see the baby come out and see her possible pooping on the table. I then replied that I am not. I plan on being in the waiting room or off to the corner playing angry birds. I have an issue with blood and people screaming over a little pain. Everyone says if you look down there you wont wanna touch that shit with a stick so. After I finish my statement on my intentions of the birth of our child she says your fucking crazy. Now remember we are in a nice restaurant and says that out loud and she is making a scene. I tell her that I don't want to see the baby until they hose that thing off I don't want to see it covered in all the white gunk. I mean really it is the first time I am going to see my sperm other than in my wack off rag and think it should not be slimy or covered in gunk.

She says that if I am not going to participate then she is going to divorce me after giving birth and I am like FINE. I will get custody and once again she bust out laughing like i have just told a joke.

I mean come on fellas you agree with me. I want to be like it was in the 70's where me were in the waiting room pacing and smoking cigars and cigarets.

Just my two cents......

Yeah... good luck with that one. Man up, and get in the room. If you don't want to look down there, tell the OB and you can stay up by your wife's head, and there will be a screen blocking your view of her lady parts.

I grew up in the 70's and 80's and I thought the same as you at first. I still let my wife know that when she's going through her female time that I'll know from her attitude and I DO NOT want to hear about it or have any other knowledge of it; that's why she has girlfriends.

But, I was there holding one of her legs up watching my first being born and I wouldn't have had it any other way. There's nothing gross or off about seeing that little one come out and know that the first thing that they saw in this world was your face. There is no correlation between the fun hole and the hole that the baby comes out of; they look nothing alike and it snaps right back into place very shortly.

The whole pregnancy you will be excited and anxious and change slightly, but you won't feel the connection that she does, the reality that you are a father. That moment comes when you see that amazing wrinkly little alien baby and you can't stop from smiling so much that it hurts your face; that's when you first feel like a daddy. If you miss that, you will regret it and I'm sure that your wife will make it even worse.

blackspartan28 wrote:

Olive Garden nice restaurant

Olive Gardens must be different in Florida then up here in the Northwest.