It's time.

This is an email that I wanted to send to the1, however, the more I pondered sending it, the more it made sense to share my feelings with my xbox friends.

I wanted to say thank you for the opportunity with the 30's to make new friends and enhance my gaming experience. It's unfortunate that I feel this way, but I do. I'm really done with all the drama on the site. Marsh is a very good friend of mine, and as appropriate or inappropriate his guest response was on that thread (about where to post), I understand and echo his frustration. I didn't ask him to chime in, and it’s unfortunate the thread was locked by the time I got a chance to read so there was no possible response from me. I purposely posted in the xbox section to have a conversation with the guys I play with on a nightly basis, and know their style of gameplay first hand. I honestly wasn't sure that PS3ers could read what was in that section, so I didn't think it would cause an uproar (again). I was wrong.

I don't know FBD, but he seems arrogant. His original thread, read with certain tones, could be taken both ways. Due to the nature of the internet an online communications, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt that it was innocent and he was trying to be informative. A part of me feels it was a wee snippy and condescending. He has sent a PM apologizing if I was offended, and a small part of me was. I also felt like he was told to apologize. That also may or may not be true. I don't know the guy, so it's all speculation.

I'm removing my account from the site. I enjoy playing a good portion of the 30's however there are others who are completely offensive and have made many comments in games that are nasty, mean, or homophobic (changing his clan tag in games to URAF and telling people it stands for you're a fag) etc. Honestly if I wanted to play with people such as this I'd join 99% of the other clans out there. He's also a mod in the forums. great. I deleted him from my friends list a long time ago. I'll let you solve that puzzle without naming names.

Yeah I know that you wouldn't know of this stuff unless someone told ya. And I guess none of the other guys care to confront someone who pretty good at the game and may be friends with him. I understand that. He's not my cup of tea. I didn't want to be the only female in the clan bitching about someone, because I don't need that stigma. I'm also not one to jump ship when emotions are high, which is why I've waited 2 days to post this and calm down. My feelings haven't changed. Obviously, I can roll with the best of them and have an extremely thick skin, (how else could I play this game on a nightly basis?), but it's just become too much here.

I want a welcoming community, not one that already has a riff between two groups, including mindless threads with character assassinations and putdowns. It's not appealing at all. It's like shit goes downhill at the drop of a dime, and it's not just Marsh that feels that way. I could name names but it would probably be easier to name the ones that don't mind the bullshit. I'm being honest with you in saying that many other people in the 30's want nothing to do with the website because of this.

Part of my leaving is due to the fact that I personally want to try and recruit a few female gamers to game with, and some more gamers who are looking for a clan because they're over 30 and are mature, friendly people. Not someone masquerading as an adult who's age happens to be over 30. Hell, we play with El Guapo's daughter, who's 12 and she's more mature and respectable than some of the people on Roster I. The over30clan I roster is full – a good portion of which don't play the game with others, don't communicate with their mic, don't have a mic, or don't even have the game and that just seems like a waste. Once/If clan operations start up, I want a team that's full of players who enjoy shooting pixels together and are friendly towards each other.

I don't know what to do but start over. Something new. I don't want to lose any of my xbox friends (and I'm not about to start deleting anyone) because my friends are what matter the most, not a forum, but I guess that's a risk I have to take.

I'm purposely posting in the xbox only section because it's something that I want to share with the xbox guys, and I don't want the thread overrun with shit comments. That's probably unavoidable anyway.

Anyway, best of luck to everyone and feel free to contact me, drop an invite, or say hi anytime xbox live or via dropshotDANI @ gmail . com

Good Luck Dani and I wish you well. I'm sorry that you feel that way. I don't have any clue what goes on the Xbox side of things other than what I see here. Everything looks kosher on the forum.

I sincerely hope that you find a good group to run with.

PS. FBD's appology was sincere. I for one never told him to apologize or that he should, but I'm glad he did.

Dave

Thanks Dave. I've since talked to FBD and understand that it was sincere. It still doesn't change the way I feel, which is unfortunate, but is life. It's just time for me to venture out a bit.

I truly appreciate everything you have done for me and the over30 community.

Sad to see it, but I know you aren't really going anywhere. I will see you nightly in our lobby.

Exactly JK. Leaving the message board does not equal leaving playing with friends. If the message board and interacting with many people you don't game with on a regular basis becomes frustrating then refraining from that is not a bad thing. Over 30 is a way to connect with other like minded gamers to enhance the gameplay. If it becomes more for some then great. I've met a lot of great gamers who I enjoy playing with and still will. That is what's most important to me.

lummox

That is really what the site was created for. A place where adult gamers could meet and start playing together. There have been lots of friends made on this site, and for that all the work that has gone into this site has been worth it IMO.

Wow alot has gone on in the month i was away sad to see that stuff like this is happening and xbox members are leaving cause of this stuff

Wow.

This is a huge loss for the xbox side imo.

I have no idea what this is all about (I must have missed the thread again) but I do know that I don't like seeing Dani leave.

When I joined the 30's, Dani was one of the first people to welcome me and play with me......and put up with my totally sucktastic gameplay without complaint.

Now where do I find the thread that caused all this?

I don't think it was a particular thread that caused it. It was an accumilation of things on and off the website. I hate to see anyone leave but people come and go and will continue to do so.

Sorry to hear that Danni, I don't know you well but did play some games with you on Xbox when PSN was down and have seen some of your posts. I do think it's sad that some ppl in the clan have made you feel either unwelcome or that their negative/derogatory attitudes towards certain groups or personalities have made you not want to be a part of the 30. I hope that those opinions are not reflected by the majority of this clan.
However I do see a lot of indifference here when it comes to standing up against narrow minded attitudes. It seems those who shout loudest are heard the most and even though there has to be a variety of personalities and opinions, it is rare that ppl are willing to voice a differing opinion to that of the majority of posters here.

Anyway all the best, hopefully your comments will have an affect on how we treat each other here in the future. And more respect will be shown to others opinions and lifestyle choices.

In addition to being a consistently excellent player, Dani is a complete class act. Like Fighting Okra, I was lucky to play some of my first clan games with Dani -- and most of them since then. Dani will continue to be at the top of my friend and invite list.

I realize that people come and go, but there is no escaping the fact that this clan -- and gaming in general -- has a dearth of female participants. For that reason alone (though there are many other reasons), we all ought to take a look at our attitudes, behavior and comments and consider what kind of community we are maintaining. I joined this group because it aimed to be more mature. I think that xkillxfacex is right and that this hopefully will lead to a more considerate and welcoming community.

All of these situations keep happening, people keep getting offended by things going on or things being said and I cannot help but wonder if my own behavior has had anything to do with it. I can be a fairly offensive individual at times. Honestly, I don't think I've offended anyone but this seems like a good time to make sure. I personally wish to stay on the outside of any beef flying around, and apologize for any transgressions I may have made against any of you.

There are my pennies.

Dani, You'll be missed in the forums and if you ever want to play some black ops hit me up.
The same goes for anyone who leaves, whatever their reason may be. I want to be friends with all of you, regardless of whether you are friends with each other or not.

Holy shit, what's happening? Just posted in scooby's thread, now this?

Well, I think I'm done with fond farewells and the like for fallen soldiers..well..maybe one last time:

Another solid member with good play, manners, humor and posts. Gone. I hope to only miss out on the posts. I'll see you in a lobby soon, Dani.