Sly's Guide To Stop Playing With Yourself

Seems the Darkside has lost another. And I have heard his complaint before so I am here to save people a little grief and frustration.

It is important to remember that when people are sending invites the decision is based on 99% what your personality is like and 1% on player skill.

Skill
The skill part will be brief as it really isn't a factor. If you can hold a controller without putting your eye out with a thumb stick then you are good enough. If you were able to hit the power button, insert the disc and press start then you have all the skill you need to be the second coolest player here. (I'll will always be the coolest so don't get your hopes up)

Personality
I hear people talking about sending messages asking if people have room. That's sweet and all but this isn't like a car pool. Look at the player tag. If the Join Party option is available they have room.

Now join the aforementioned Party. Enter with something witty or an awesome movie quote. examples "what's up mother bitches!!!"...or "look at all the nerdy gamer fuckers" ...or "You assholes need to get a life(and or life)"...or as a said random movie quotes "Dr. Jones. Again we see there is nothing you can possess which I cannot take away. "

Once you have made your too cool for school intro it is time to get down to business. Do they already have more than six? so what. Join the OTHER team and shoot the shit out all you clan mates. It works best if you laugh maniacally when you do it. (A little side note, ignore their game banter UAV, I am capping C, blah blah blah. You are on the other team, this is your chance to killwhore and spawnkill your friends. Make the most of it).

Once the game is over they will curse you under their breath while cussing you over their breath. At the same time you also rubbed someone the wrong way that one time he/she was calling in a predator and you stood there throwing knife in hand waiting for them to finish then you threw it in their face. This person is going to get butt hurt and quit. That's o.k. though because now there is an open space and your maniacal laughter from earlier scared everyone else so now you get to take Butthurt guys place.


Mission Accomplished

your welcome

And here I thought this thread was going to be about something else.....

carlmuir wrote:

And here I thought this thread was going to be about something else.....

You're not the only one. I was quite disappointed when I read the thread. Kidding. Hopefully this gets more people into parties.

Sly, excellent post. Your prose and style had me laughing as I read that. Thanks for the giggles this AM. Sorry, I still won't play against clannies as it hurts my KDR even more and while I like to laugh manically at killing a friend in a devious and unexpected way it is way too painful to have my poop pushed in by a clan of 6 A-holes working together all game and crushing the team of randoms I was unfortunatley sided with.

Your title is misleading BTW. I was expecting you to tell me how to rub hot sauce on my hands, or marry a nympho or some other pearls of wisdom.

SlyPeeler wrote:

Do they already have more than six? so what. Join the OTHER team and shoot the shit out all you clan mates. It works best if you laugh maniacally when you do it. (A little side note, ignore their game banter UAV, I am capping C, blah blah blah. You are on the other team, this is your chance to killwhore and spawnkill your friends. Make the most of it).

I like 99% of your post. This is the only disagreement. I think clan killing should be reserved for private matches unless agreed upon by lobby members. If you join and get stuck on the other team at the last moment, it's sort of cheap and dirty to use the team playbook against them.

If you announce your intentions in the pregame and everyone is cool with that, by all means, do your dirtiest.

FBD wrote:

SlyPeeler wrote:

Do they already have more than six? so what. Join the OTHER team and shoot the shit out all you clan mates. It works best if you laugh maniacally when you do it. (A little side note, ignore their game banter UAV, I am capping C, blah blah blah. You are on the other team, this is your chance to killwhore and spawnkill your friends. Make the most of it).

I like 99% of your post. This is the only disagreement. I think clan killing should be reserved for private matches unless agreed upon by lobby members. If you join and get stuck on the other team at the last moment, it's sort of cheap and dirty to use the team playbook against them.

If you announce your intentions in the pregame and everyone is cool with that, by all means, do your dirtiest.

for the very few that didn't know my intentions, they do now. So I think I am in the clear

hahahaha...nice. The sending of messages thing must just be necessary for PS3 as we don't have the option of joining a party in this game without an invite...

SlyPeeler wrote:

for the very few that didn't know my intentions, they do now. So I think I am in the clear

Loud and clear! I'm glad you're on xbox!

FBD wrote:

SlyPeeler wrote:

Do they already have more than six? so what. Join the OTHER team and shoot the shit out all you clan mates. It works best if you laugh maniacally when you do it. (A little side note, ignore their game banter UAV, I am capping C, blah blah blah. You are on the other team, this is your chance to killwhore and spawnkill your friends. Make the most of it).

I like 99% of your post. This is the only disagreement. I think clan killing should be reserved for private matches unless agreed upon by lobby members. If you join and get stuck on the other team at the last moment, it's sort of cheap and dirty to use the team playbook against them.

If you announce your intentions in the pregame and everyone is cool with that, by all means, do your dirtiest.

I'm going to have to agree with ya FBD. While its all fun and games to fuck around with clan mates to use our own tactics against each other is kinda lame. I joined a game on dome against the clan seen it was full and just backed out.

I back out also. I may jump into a pregame, but if it's full, I'll just let them kn ow I'm looking to get into a game when a spot is open.

I do what sly does. I'd rather get my ass kicked and shoot the shit in the lobby with fellow clannies than lone wolf with randumbs. He is annoying with that damn throwing knife I will admit lol.

You aren't really helping the clan cause by shooting down all of our hard earned killstreaks when you are on the other team. If you join mid-match sure, self preservation is key. Stick around to see if a spot is created after the match but if there are six and you are seven, start another party or often times someone will volunteer to leave unless the party is newly formed.

I never considered how this would be on xbox since they have party chat so you can hear team strategy even if you are on the other side. Not good for clan moral if you ask me.

audiopile wrote:

You aren't really helping the clan cause by shooting down all of our hard earned killstreaks when you are on the other team. If you join mid-match sure, self preservation is key. Stick around to see if a spot is created but if we have six and you are 7 start another party or often times someone will volunteer to leave unless the party is newly formed.

I never considered how this would be on xbox since they have party chat so you can hear team strategy even if you are on the other side. Not good for clan moral if you ask me.

Being killed by a clannie's Dead Man's Hand it particularly annoying when you're a kill away from the reaper, pavelow combo. That's what happened the last time a clannie joined the opposing team.

FBD wrote:

audiopile wrote:

You aren't really helping the clan cause by shooting down all of our hard earned killstreaks when you are on the other team. If you join mid-match sure, self preservation is key. Stick around to see if a spot is created but if we have six and you are 7 start another party or often times someone will volunteer to leave unless the party is newly formed.

I never considered how this would be on xbox since they have party chat so you can hear team strategy even if you are on the other side. Not good for clan moral if you ask me.

Being killed by a clannie's Dead Man's Hand it particularly annoying when you're a kill away from the reaper, pavelow combo. That's what happened the last time a clannie joined the opposing team.

wow, I almost feel like a douche...almost. I can't wait till I ruin a clannies first chance at a MOAB

What...We're doing THIS again? Thought we had this all sorted out some time ago...if another clannie ends up on the other side ya should always bump up your game...it's a challenge so act as such.

Flame ON

Here's my two cents.....

If I join a game against a lobby of 30s and am solo I will ALWAYS leave the lobby. If I join mid-game I will stay.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Not me... I dig actually shooting straight and hearing my name over the Rage Mic from a fellow Clannie...

I think its a question of A) do you want to play with some rollover randumbs or B) do you want to fight tooth and nail against someone you can call by name?

I prefer to wreck oblivious randoms with pavelows. And bringing death streaks out of your clanmate on the other side means you have stepped up...

B please...'cause the joy is endless

Talk to the hand, Y"DN"KNW"ME!!!

BigDaddyN8 wrote:

I was expecting you to tell me how to rub hot sauce on my hands, or marry a nympho or some other pearls of wisdom.

LMAO !!!

Good post anyway.
Don't be shy, lads!!! If you want to play, don't wait to be invited! Invite or jump in!!

*sigh* Sly, I was thinking of a totally different 'how too' thread.


I laugh a giddy laugh when getting a near squad kill against clan mates. Coming aroud the corner to see them all facing the wrong way makes my palms sweat and hand shake.

Shooting Nixon in the back is fun. Mainly because I know he is saying "Fucking Wini" in his "good thing I cut meat all day so I dont have to cut people" voice.

Blowing up Nate and Anderson in a tank becuase they dont look for mines is a blast.

Nate shot me in the head from across the map and then did a dance in the killcam 'cause he knew I was watching. Looked like he was in an Iranian Wedding shotting his gun into the sky and spinning. F-ing hilarious.

BF3 is different in some ways because you can switch teams in the middle of the match so killing them has less of a real impact on the game.

I, in general, would rather get stomped by someone I know than an asshat random.

I won't back out of a game against clannies if I jumped into it mid match. I will try to bring my A game for the remainder of the match, but usually I don't cap flags for the other team. I figured since I'm going to kill you alot, at least I want you to get the win. And I usually back out after the first game.

FBD used to cuss me alot in Black Ops because he caught the blade of my tomahawks quite a bit.

I cannot believe this thread is not what it sounded like. I am SO MAD!!!!!